CHARLIE THE UNICORN!!![Candy Mountain Excerpt)

PINK UNICORN: We're here.


CHARLIE THE UNICORN: Well, what do you know? There actually is a Candy Mountain.

BLUE UNICORN: {Dancing and singing} Candy Mountain, Candy Mountain, you fill me with sweet sugary goodness.

PINK UNICORN: Go inside the Candy Mountain cave, Charlie.

BLUE UNICORN: Yeah, Charlie, go inside the cave. Magical wonders that will behold when you enter.

CHARLIE THE UNICORN: Yeah, uh, thanks, but no thanks. I'm gonna stay out here.

PINK UNICORN: But you have to enter the Candy Mountain candy cave, Charlie.

{Five letters (C, A, N, D, and Y) appear from Candy Mountain and sing and dance.}



Y: Oh, when you're down and looking for some cheering up,



Then just head right on up to the Candy Mountain cave.

When you get inside you'll find yourself a cheery land,

Such a happy and joyful and perky merry land.

They got lollipops and gummy drops and candy things,

And so many things that will brighten up your day.

It's impossible to wear a frown in Candy Town,

It's the mecca of love in the candy cave. They got jellybeans and coconuts with little hats,

Candy rats, chocolate bats, it's a wonderland of sweets.

Ride the candy train to town and hear the candy band,

Candy bells, it's a treat as they march across the land.

Cherry ribbons stream across the sky into the ground,

Turn around, it astounds, it's the dancing candy tree.

In the candy cave imagination runs so free,

So, Charlie, please will you go into the cave?



{The five letters collide and burst into flames}



CHARLIE THE UNICORN: All right, fine, I'll go into the freaking candy cave. This had better be good. {enters Candy Mountain}

BLUE AND PINK UNICORNS: {voices only} Yeah....

BLUE UNICORN: Goodbye, Charlie.

PINK UNICORN: Yeah, goodbye, Charlie.

CHARLIE THE UNICORN: Goodbye, what?

{The cave is flooded with darkness}



CHARLIE THE UNICORN: Hey, what's going on here? Hello? Who is that?

{Muffled sounds are heard to indicate that Charlie is being knocked out}



{Cuts to seen of a meadow where Charlie lies on the ground with an incision on his side}



CHARLIE THE UNICORN: Oh, God, what happened? {notices the cut} Oh, they took my freakin' kidney!